Weifs' whimsical writings

24 years come and gone

2010-03-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

biG old 24! i've decided to come up with a list of things to do and try - my very own "Bucketlist". The list of things I want to achieve before i kick the bucket.

Bucketlist-
1. Scuba dive
2. Salsa dance (advance level)
3. Piano and guitar musician + singer (not pro but decent.)
4. Masters of Physiotherapy
5. Baking expert --> Bakery owner (however small to stART with)

more to add on i believe~! =)

realising now, it's not too late

2009-08-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

many times, i've done things out of the spur of a moment.

many times, i've looked back and wished i hadn't done so.

but these are the times, where i know, it has to happen.

for it made me realise, things happen for a reason.

it's what you do, the next time such things come about, that truly matters.

afterall, it's never too late.

5 centimetres per second

2009-07-23T22:15:00.001-07:00

my heart aches after watching this film just minutes ago. the show delicately portrayed the message that, the passing of time, inevitably draws people apart.. even those who once so firmly believed that their hearts are tied as one.

the short film ended with 2 of the main characters crossing each other's path on the streets many years later. As they walked past each other, only a split second of eye-contact was made.. and no conversation was exchanged.

Once, their lives were entwined.

Now, they have become 2 parallel lines that never would meet again.

):

the rest is still unwritten

2009-06-16T04:32:00.000-07:00

What constitutes an education? I suppose it is the acquirement of knowledge to gain insights into an array of territories, be it mathematics, science, arts or language.

Education breeds knowledge, and hopefully, gives rise to wisdom. It also matures the mind, enabling one to develop an insight into self, and hence guiding one to make wise decisions or actions that one truly desires.

Education provides an avenue of opportunities. For many who are not born with a silver spoon, education is the most legitimate, albeit difficult way, to a promised future. For others, it is a doorway to materialise their dreams, to achieve the desires of their heart, or clichely put, to fulfill their purpose in life.

Whatever the reason may be, the desire to succeed or gain fulfilment in life, is the fundamental drive for one's educational pursuits.

I may not be speaking for everyone, but I speak for myself and a group of like-minded people, that education also carved my character and values to a large extent. For this, I meant education from all environments, be it at home by your parents or seniors, or in a formal institutional settings by teachers and even, your peers.

The daily interactions from my mentors and same-aged peers, for the past 18 years, is pretty much what moulds my thinking today. It is also the very reason why i abhor smokers, believe in doing charity and treasure my close ones.

Perhaps I am being too melodramatic, but at this approaching termination of my 18 year long education, I am feeling a wave of emotions.

Uncertainties and excitement fills me as I look forward to the future. And much like the song, the rest is still unwritten.

Link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lFXy5bIiSA => A very VERY uplifting song, i feel! :) i'm posting the link here cos the uploading took forever.

"Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah"
Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten Lyrics

i don't wanna know what lies ahead

2009-06-09T03:19:00.000-07:00

the date of revelation's drawing nearer. and i don't want to know.

So what am i supposed to do with these apprehensions?
You better believe things are changing
And I'm almost mad at myself
For letting it get this far
Once again my heart's in my throat
And i still don't know how I've let this happen
But I'll look past this and I'll turn the page
Keep my eyes on whats ahead
Take it day by day, lets go
I'll look past this
Keep my eyes on whats ahead
Take it day by day
Never will I understand why I've let things get like this
Go, whoa, stop!

single-minded in faith

2009-05-21T03:40:00.000-07:00

"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. "
James 1:2-7

exams.over.forever?

2009-05-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

i can't explain my feelings now.. fell sick last night with a terrible flu and sore throat, right after the exams ended. Felt confident during the paper, but after i submitted it, felt strangely the opposite. Like a typical pisces, i began being over-the-tip sensitive about how i performed in the paper. a sick fearing of the worst came over me.

woke up this morning after a night of interrupted sleep. for some reason, i was awake most of the time trying to will myself to sleep. this is the 2nd time this has ever happened. and i'm fearing that there'll be more to come.

in the darkness of the room, with just a shade of moonlight coming through the window, i could feel the time stand still. freezing in its tracks. no motion and sound around me. the only thing i hear is my own breathing.. for a minute i thought i was drifting into sleep, but something just kept me away from rest.. i can't pin-point what. i just know that my mind's full of endless thoughts, and my body is aching for its due rest.

before i know it, i opened my eyes again. this time the sun's risen, and my clock says ten past nine. how long have i been asleep? don't know. but not long.

my head's aching, my body's still tired, my nose's blocked and my throat feels terribly sore. and my mind, my mind's still full of yesterday's worries, today's burden and tomorrow's uncertainties. why does everything seems to go wrong?

i'm asking God, why am i feeling this way? i'm praying for an answer.. and it has not come.

Is He asking for me to have more faith? or m i to be more patient? probably.

But amidst all, I just pray, that in God's will, everything will be alright.

the end of part I

2009-05-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

Just completed my first 5 weeks of attachment..and now it's time to prepare my exams and take home papers for next week!

a)musculoskeletal paper (70% )
b)neuro take home exam (50% )
c)cardiopulmonary assignment (50% )...all due on Wed, the 20th of May! :(

I'm unsure of how the paper is going to be like.. so it's quite unsettling.

Right after this would be my next 5 weeks of attachment at a new place. another part of a long long journey.

7 more weekends to freedom.... counting down and looking forward to my dear friends who will be coming to visit!~ :)

"Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will make thy paths straight." Pro 3:5-6

recharge please!

2009-05-05T03:26:00.000-07:00

i'm just tiredd. feeling the strain of continuous presentations, assignments and upcoming exams..nothing short of exhaustion.. like a car tank running low in fuel after a long haul.

i need rest. sleep. and good food.

abounding sea.... of knowledge!

2009-04-20T04:22:00.000-07:00

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe."
-Marilyn Vos Savant-

RIght until last monday, i thought orthopaedic physiotherapy is one specialty full of protocols and without flexibility. But ever since the start of my clinicals last tuesday, my view of this is pretty much changed.

Orthopaedic physiotherapy in itself involves much more than applying the standard post-op treatments. It requires an indepth knowledge of the patient's condition and op procedure, and relating it to the anatomical structures that are involved. It is then that one can help improve patient's mobility/strength/range to its optimum, and help the patient return back to their normal daily living.

Understanding the underlying pathology fully and how it affects the patient is one important aspect that i've previously neglected. Now that this clinical placement has shown me the great influence of one's understanding of the condition on the plan of treatment, i'll never see ortho physio the same again.

It's also in times like this that I find knowledge in itself something that is so abounding, so powerful and so important.

To equip yourself with knowledge, benefits not only yourself but also those around you i.e the patient you are treating.

On this note, i've found a new drive for acquiring knowledge. One thing's for sure, there's no end to learning!

hillsongs live recording!~

2009-03-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking, if music is the rhythm of life, Christ is the conductor.

Went to hillsongs live recording @ sydney entertainment centre last sunday! All i could say is that i've never seen so many people in fervor of Christ before. The songs were passionately sung, the atmosphere just breath-taking.

This live recording will be in their next album, "Tear down the walls". I can't wait to get hold of it! :)

It's amazing how God works His hands in our lives, how He plants turns and trials in our paths, only to guide us to our best.

I take comfort and strength that God is with me each day. :)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity
Hosanna in the highest

well well i've turned 23!

2009-03-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

First time watching play @ Opera House (i couldn't appreciate the shakespearean english in the play but it was quite hilarious throughout. Overall, quite a nice experience. :) )

A nice angle picture taken by Jas

Group picture of the gals :)

MP4 - my birthday gift

A surprise gift by my housemates! love <3<3<3 IT! :D

It's a day passed my 23rd birthday and i woke up early this morning without sleeping in!

I think this deserves a celebration. haha. :p

Ask me how I feel towards getting one year older and I'll say "same lors". but deep down, I find myself thinking, "so what if i'm born today 23 years ago? no biggie."

But, after yesterday, I've realised that bday celebrations r not just about people wishing/texting people happy birthdays and people buying people presents (which is really stimulating to the economy right now.)

Birthday is the day you remind yourself of the loved ones around you, and how much YOU mean to them, and THEY to you.

I'm not saying the next bday comes around, someone buys a super big gift for another person or give super animated well-wishes by jumping and hugging the bday guy/gal would mean that this person care alot for him/her.

What I'm saying is people mAke an effort (no matter how sMall), to reach that bday friend/daughter/classmate personally before the end of her bday, to send their well-wishes.

That itself is an act of love.

Now, ask me the same about my birthday again, I'll probably say, "Thank you! with <3."

:)

the people that made you, you.

2009-03-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

It's the people in our lives, that makes up who we are.

People you are stuck with, people you choose to be with, no matter why or how you end up with them, these are the people who adds up to who you are.

You are, who you are how the world sees you to be. Every action, every word, every smile and every frown.

Take some courage. to cry. to smile. to get hurt. to be loved.

and to lIve.

mardi gras parade - it's raining men!

2009-03-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

Last saturday, i attended my first street parade in sydney! haha. it's themed Mardi Gras, "Fat Tuesday" in french. well, it's a very very interesting event. see if u can read the words off the flag. you will know wat i mean! :P

Overall, it was a fun but tiring experience. the streets were soOoo crowded. and the people were just wiLD. that's a scene you won't get to see in s'pore.. total uninhibition. lol.

Started my first fellowship group at my church today! =) really really happy that our plans materialised. God provided us with venue, people and resources for our group. It really showed me (again) how the Almighty plans ahead for us. Jer 29:11 "For He has the plans for us, plans to prosper us and not harm, plans to give us a hope and a future."

Anyway, i've made a resolution to make the best out of my last term here. there's soo much i want to do - attending hillsongs conference, going to the outbacks, skiing and farmstay. but semester's more intense this time round, it's quite difficult to find extra time out for travelling. except for the upcoming easter weekend.. I'm going for a fARmstay trip! woots.

I have decided that, life's too short to be upset about things.. why focus on "unhappy-fying" matters when you can be happier without them. haha. sO, i've made a pact with myself to not be bothered with what happened last week and silently let tHe matter slip away into the crowded corner of my frontal cortex. and let it be forgotten with time.

yepyep, looking forward to more plans ahead! =)

(Ps: Jing and yy, thanks for your much-needed encouragement. i <3 u. )

what i truly meant..

2009-03-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

"Save some face, you've only got one."

I've been thinking, should i or should i not pen this down. and obviously, i've decided to.. this blog has always been an outlet to my emotions and i've decided to be honest with my feelings.

recently, a friend, X, misinterpreted some things that i've said as a joke and apparently got quite annoyed. it was a light-hearted comment made in a light hearted atmosphere. but that person was pretty pissed and wrote pretty offensive words towards me on msn nick, which consist of the f... word.

I was quite upset by it.. but instead of feeling angry about it, i tried to explain things and even offered an apology. but apparently, the person is still quite emo about it and refuses to soften his/her stand.

I've talked to a few friends, who knew both of us. They think the person is too sensitive about it and told me not to trouble over it. But me being me, I have been bothered by it for the past few days.

I've always taken that person as a friend, albeit not a very close one, but someone whom i definitely could place trust in.

After this incident, I'm just not sure anymore.

All i can say is that, don't put your expectations too high about others and be really careful with your words with certain people. Cos sadly, people judge one another using their own yardstick and standards.

I just wished things were different..

WHen things could be simple, where people treat people with a pure and open heart, with respect, with trust and with love.

new beginnings

2009-03-02T16:15:00.001-08:00

Okay, the new term just started. and i'm still sniffing away.. esp in the mornings. everytime when i have to blow my nose (which is almost once every 10 secs), i really hope my nose won't fall off on my next sneeze. Aiz.. when will my runny nose go away?

Anyway, it feels alright to be back. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

Had a bad scare with my timetable yesterday. apparently, all of friends had a similar timetable with at least one other person they know (this means they have a tutorial buddy), all except for me. haha. for everyone who knows me well, i'm a xenophobic and this is really bad news.

Just as i was about to resign to my fate/awful timetable, i decided to give it another shot by attempting to change my timetable on our school's online web. (How it works is tt you can submit a special request to block out a period of time in your week, if you have other commitments during that time e.g work or any other special reasons. The system will generate a new timetable giving you free time during those times that you've blocked out.)

This means that i can get an entirely new timetable, which may be for the better or worst, with more/less hours of break in between lessons. And there's a chance that i'll still have no tut buddy.

Nonetheless, i went ahead with trying, thinking there's nothing to lose.

And i got an exact same timetable as TWO of my friends! :)

He is truly our Jehovah Jireh. my God provides.

My stomach's rumbling.. it's almost 12pm and i haven't had my breakfast. don't really feel like having cereals for breakfast but there's not much options cos we've not gone for groceries shopping yet.

i. am. missing. my. favourite. fishball. noodles. =/

catching the tails of my last long vacation~

2009-02-26T05:37:00.000-08:00

holiday has come to an end. overall, it's been a good vacation.

here's a list of things that i've accomplished!

1) Joined my first Chingay parade.
2) Travelled to melbourne, gold coast and canberra
3) Spent CNY '09 with my family and friends
4) Handled a class of 30 ten-year-old monkeys
5) Watched 8 movies - australia, bedtime stories, red cliff 2, Ip man, valkyrie, the curious story of benjamin buttons, he's just not that into you & slumdog millionaire. (especially enjoyed benjamin buttons. must admit brad pitt's acting was better than i expected.. and i absolutely lOve <3 the endinG! )

sigh. feeling rather pensive right now about going back.. how i wish holidays don't end..

perhaps i should try to increase my serotonin levels.. so that i can somehow increase my positivity. or maybe it is just another excuse for me to have chocolates without feeling guilty.

hm no time for pensive thoughts.

got to get back to packing!

things that i know are (/not) meant to be

2009-02-22T05:13:00.000-08:00

Some thiNgs are meant not to be spoken
no words are needed
stark silence says it all

Some thiNgs despite all the words
remains but an abstract
defined by our own interpretation

Some thiNgs are meant to be
no man can take away
no man can change

SOla fide, by faith
iT will unfold
like a blossoming flower

Sola gratia, by grace
iT will be moulded
like clay in a potter's hands

some things are surely meant to be
though unseen, but by faith and grace,
iT will come in God's timing.

Life's like a sinosoidal curve

2009-02-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

"I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world."

Louis Armstrong - What a wonderful world.

What beautiful lyrics. It caught my breath the first instance i heard them. Such soulful words.

I've been feeling emo lately. It feels like i'm travelling on a sinusoidal curve, finding myself sliding down the peak of the curve. uncontrollable. until i hit the bottom of it.

And I ask myself, "why?"

I've come to realise that there is a great amount of pathy in me towards another person's problems. It might be a good thing to naturally be able to feel for someone else, but it is unbearable when you find yourself powerless to help them. Especially when they are people who means a great deal to you.

I wonder if i could stop being so easily affected by people i care about..

:(

i want to be the next jamie oliver!~ (maybe when i retire =P)

2009-02-05T02:08:00.000-08:00

Menu: Creamy Spaghetti with Scallop & Asparagus~

My first attempt!

My second attempt!

THe first and second picture looks similar because i used the same utensils, background and almoST the same ingredients. The difference is that i omitted ham + huge mushroom from the first attempt cos i felt that the whole dish tasted both meaty and seafoody..too heavy on the tastebuds. SO, i used plainly the seafood with asparagus, carrots and chopped mushrooms on e second try..

Also, i pan-seared the scallops and dory fish coated with sesame seeds. (THis i learnt from "surreal gourmet") It is a really simple way of cooking white meat and tasted really good. The fragrant of the sesame seeds complemented well with the seafood, me thinks. oh! and i added some chopped chilli into the cream for a slightly spicy-tangy aftertaste. :)

Anyway, had a really great time cooking today! :) finished the cooking and cleaning under an hour. hooray! wat's more, daddy even had a 2nd serving. :D

choked with emotions

2009-02-03T05:34:00.001-08:00

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

I heard a friend speak of the nearing death of her mother today. Oddly, the topic seemed so far for me. I tried my very best to console and comfort her, but i knew i could never provide her all the support which she desperately needs now.. because i am not in her shoes.

I began suggesting ways for her to deal with this situation. "stay optimistic", "spend more time with her", "maybe set up a blog" etc.. But these words seemed lacking. I simply wished i was there, to give her a big hug to occupy the gaps that my words cannot fill.

Then, i remembered a woman with cancer who appeared on The Straits Times home section last week. I remember a woman who has this really big smile, with sparkle in her eyes. Even though it's a gray scale picture, it seems to shout out energy and life at every corner.

The woman in the picture was a victim of breast cancer. But she was not one of the ordinary cancer patients. Apparently, throughout her cancer fighting days, she and her husband started up a blog. Initially serving as a means to update their family and friends of her condition, it eventually became a source of inspiration and encouragement for many - both healthy and non-healthy.

I was utterly choked with emotions when i read her blog (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) this afternoon. The eulogy written by her husband, the memorial video of her, pictures of her family and stories of her daily fight with cancer. Her strong passion for life is just so infectious. In fact, i believe, she has managed to inspire and touch the life of many others. Her fight for cancer was never really her own.. in fact, her blog managed to garner like-minded souls for charitable works.

Self-reflection on my own life started minutes after i finished with her blog.

How am I leading my life right now?
Am I living my life to the fullest each day?
Do I express my love for my family and friends enough each day?

Each of these questions flashed through my mind. I believe I am working towards living my life to the fullest each day. There are many things that I want to do and have yet to do. I love my family and friends very much, and I am still learning to express my love for them.

At the end of the day, as the woman who have lived her life so brightly rightly puts it:

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

Happy牛Year!

2009-01-28T04:24:00.000-08:00

Chinese new year is all about keeping traditions. Having reunion dinner with the whole family, receiving angbaos, special new year greetings to the elderly are all part of our chinese practices for this festive occasion. To me, it is a much-valued day where everyone takes time off their busy lives, to spend well-deserved quality time with their family.

I often wonder if these traditions will be kept for the next few generations. With the demise of my maternal grandparents (few years ago), many of my relatives from that side of the family stopped keeping in touch with one another. which is kind of sad. Comparatively, my paternal grandparents are still around, and the ties of the family members on our paternal side are much closer. I reasoned this is because my grandparents are the gel that holds the family together.

Anyway, this year's celebration has been awesome! haha. Perhaps even better than previous years of chinese new year celebrations. I guess this is because I've been away, and being away from your family makes you miss your family and somehow makes you realise how much they mean to you.

Simply put, there's nowhere better than home. :)

my family <3

wide-eye gaze

2009-01-16T00:04:00.000-08:00

have you ever gazed upon the horizon and notice the passing of clouds?

have you ever stay put in one spot and notice the passing crowds?

For the past 3 weeks back home, I've felt more serenity and peace than I've ever had before. More often than not, a simple sight makes me smile. Be it a cherubic child on a pram, a pretty flower blossoming at its fullest, or an old couple walking down the gravel pavement holding hands, it never fails to bring a crescent to my cheeks.

I've been thinking, what have these past few weeks mean to me? indeed, i felt a temporary high from all the wonderful reunions that occurred in the first 2 weeks. and most definitely, savoured the most delicious cuisine - singapore street food (glutonny me :S). Now, i am living each day with absolutely laid-backness. Simply letting each day go past unhurried, and undemanding. What an absolute contrast from the workaholic me just over a year ago! Call it the OZ influence. :p

Just a few days ago, i was having one of my regular jogs in the precinct of punggol park when the view of the lake caught my eye. Shimmering sunlight glistened on the surface of the waterbody, bringing my eyes to a squint. Along the borders of the lake were cat-tails, long and willowy, swaying gracefully with the breeze. I can't help but stop to think, how beautiful.

Not doubt many of us find singapore a stressful and hectic place, but that doesn't mean that one cannot find peace in this metropolitan city. It is important that amidst our busy moments, take a minute or two to pause, and smell the roses.

You will be surprise at what greets you ahead. The sights, the smell, the sound, and aha, the taste! Take it all in. This is afterall, our home. :)

Spur of the moment

2009-01-08T19:29:00.000-08:00

I've entered an entry in reader's digest, asia! haha. out of a spur of the moment.

It's a conversation that really took place, between my mum and my cousin hazel. haha. But I improvised the role of my mum into a granny for more humour. well, if my entry does get in, I'll be richer by 100 dollars. *fingers crossed
Here's my maiden entry!

One day, I was talking on the phone to my seven-year-old granddaughter, Hazel. Being a chatterbox, she began telling me about her day in school in every detail. That's when i asked her, "Do you remember what day is today?"

"I don't remember", she replied.

"Today's Monday, how can you be so forgetful, darling", I teased.

And she said, "I'm getting old, grandma".

:)

last 4 days in sing-A-pore land

2008-12-28T20:10:00.000-08:00

'Everything may change, but we start and end with the family.' <3

i <3 my parents - my dad who is reticent most of the time and awkward in showing his affection through actions, and my mum who is vocal and loud majority of the time (can't blame her, it's a occupational habit :p) and quick in correcting your wrongs, but shows her affection through her actions the very next minute. Such different individuals but joined by the circle of matrimonial love.

i <3 my grandparents - my "Yeah yeah" who is even more reticent than my dad but generously shares his childhood stories and adventures when we ask for them. My "Ah ma" who is such a great cook that i believe puts Jamie Oliver pale in comparison :p, who loves to cook for all her children and grandchildren and coincidentally has the best memory around when it comes to everyone's likes and dislikes in food. Everyone in my family always finds their fav dishes on the family table at my gram's. AND mind you, there are at least 20 odd people in our annual reunion dinner. It is no mean feat.

The past 4 days back home has been great. Spending time with family and catching up with friends has never been so enjoyable. Touching down on Xmas day, my parents drove me to east coast park hawker for supper - our usual spot. =) Alas, i manage to recapture the delicious taste of fresh fishball noodles, rather than those frozen lumpy fishballs. Dad ordered satay bee-hoon. For desserts, we had ice cheng teng soup and almond jelly with longan soup. *slurps. oh so yummy!

I've learnt the art of making PoPIAH! *nods. yes. i'm not lying. my Ah ma taught me so. :)

This the process..
Step 1: ingredients

Step 2: Assemble

Step 3: Wrap

Step 4: Cut

Step 5: serve and enjoy! :)

:)

Ruminations.

2008-12-19T00:17:00.000-08:00

Today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope.~
I'm feeling @ the top of the world right now. feeling a little restless, but generally on a happy note. :) Ask me why and I'll probably say it's because I've managed to put my footsteps across Melbourne, Sydney and Gold Coast in the last 3 weeks.

There's so much that happened in the last month. and now, it's all reminiscence. The joy about vacations, I've realised, is to never be afraid to venture into the unfamiliar and be adventurous (haha especially when it comes to trying out new things.. like a 6 storey vertical plunge ride @ movie world :S). HOnestly, I was scared to death on that monster machine.. even though the whole plunge from the top to bottom lasted less than 10 seconds, it's the scariest thing i've ever been on. haha it's an achievement for me really.. i'm seriously scared of vertigo.

Just had a pre-xmas gathering @ audi's place yesterday. It's amazing how much we've grown in our culinary skills for the last 6 months. We had yummy green curry, marinated rendang? chicken and watermelon sorbet (from audi), entree of cinnamon raisins puff and custard pudding (from doris and stella), and last but not least, healthy servings of butter lemon spinach and chocolate banana log cake (from our house!) Impressive huh. :)

Fel came to visit too! hm finally had an excuse to tour Sydney with her. We went to the blue mountains where we discovered roads that created fog out of nowhere, hunters valley (famous for its wines and we bought a total of 7 bottles that day!) and went to the famous fish market for fresh-out-of-the-water seafood. Just the thought of it makes me salivate. hehe. But the weather was quite bad though. It started raining heavily towards the end of her stay. Nonetheless, thanks felicia for visiting! and hope u had fun too! :)

Melbourne trip with elsa was nothing short of fantastic. Though some may find the city too small and compact, I find myself amazed @ their laid-back lifestyles amidst a city landscape. I really like their architecture too. No doubt it is dubbed "the European city of Australia". Great ocean road day was the highlight of our trip. We managed to catch a glimpse of the historical "Twelve apostles" and several other places(for pictures pls see my previous entry). Somehow, we ended up with a tour specialising in chinese tourists onLY where the bus driver was alsO the tour guide. We ended laughing our bellies off when the tour guide literally translated "koala" into "快乐" when he sighted the bears along the drive. The hospitality I've received from Elsa's family friend - Uncle Eddie and Auntie Sam Mui, is also the best I've ever had. They were exceedingly friendly and generous, such great hosts even to a guest that they have only known for a few days.

All in all, I can say these 3 weeks has been well-lived. There might have been a few "incidents" along the way, but these incidents made all the memories all the more precious.

The end of the year is nearing again. Doris asked about new year resolutions yesterday. It is time to give it a thought.

Hmmm...

tacky but... marvellous melbourne! :)

2008-12-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

For private reasons, i won't be posting my pictures on fb as yet.. haha ask me privately n i'll tell u why. but for now, here are the happy pics of the last 5 days! :)

Arrival @ avalon sirport, melbourne

Flinders station

Shopping @ Queen Victoria's Market

Twelve Apostles

ELsa and I on a beach @ Great Ocean Road

Two of the twelve apostles (we counted.. sadly there's only 8 left. 4 has been eroded by rough weathers)

Beach along Great Ocean Road

Melbourne University

Trying out clothes @ jeanswest :)

Melbourne Museum

St.Patrick's Cathedral

St. Paul's Cathedral

Flinders square

get-away yeah!~ =)

2008-11-22T02:48:00.000-08:00

counting down to melbourne trip: 3 more days~ soOoo exciting! *happiness. :)

hm.. started planning for the itinery yesterday. so many places i'll love to visit. and it was amazing how everything fit into place.. the accommodation, the day tour to great ocean road and friends who'll meet us there. thank God for that.. looking forward to a gr8 time w elsa too! *grins :D

anw, exams are finally over.. and for once, there's no need to think of what time to wake up in the morning for classes or work. no need to rush through assignments and tuts. and ample of time to bum around. haha.

hm been catching up with a few friends over online voice-chat. realise how much i miss hanging out with them once again. *sigh.. anw, i recommend gchat at all times.. cos unlike msn voice chat which always lag.. gchat is sooo much better. loud and clear. no lag or wat-so-ever. absolutely fab~

with relation to my last entry, i figured out sometimes, one of the greatest/hardest thing of all, is to find forgiveness in one another. But if God is able to forgive us of our sins, why can't we do the same for our fellow friends? hm. i realise i still have so much to learn in my faith. somehow, somewhere in the corner of my thoughts, i always think i am very inadequate in this.

hm so i pray today, that God will grant me a forgiving heart.. to not only forgive but also to have a greater capacity to love.. to help regain lost trust and also to rebuild relationships.. To all glory be to God. Amen.

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. (Luke 6:35-37)

路遥知马力, 日久见人心.

2008-11-21T14:35:00.000-08:00

this chinese idiom reflects much wisdom in its short length of ten characters. translated in simplicity, it means the innate nature of a person can only be revealed over time.

something happened around me recently, and made me witness some very selfish acts of a person. though the consequences are small (only affected the immediate people around him), it just reflected badly on that person. it has also changed my perspective of him quite thoroughly.

But i still hold faith that there is good in him. God made us imperfect in many ways, but in our weakness, we can be made perfect through Him. I pray that one day he'll change and realise all the inconveniences and consequences of his actons. but things are going to be difficult until then..

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

GSHC - Great S'pore Hawker Crawl

2008-11-06T15:10:00.000-08:00

itinery planned:

1st stop -> Chomp chomp @ Serangoon gardens..for smokey BBq stingray, cold cheng ting n crispy chicken wings~

2nd stop -> Prata house @ Thomson Road..for some steamy hot curry n roti prata~

3rd stop -> Smooth bean curd shop @ Upp serangoon road..豆漿 plus 油條 my all-time fav. *slurps :)

that's all i can think of for now. haha and in view of limited gastrointestinal space, one can only eat so much for dinner/supper.

mominghuis' please drop more suggestions!! :D

random pictures of candice's bdae lunch

2008-11-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

@ nandos :)

2008-11-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

SWITCH was awesome!! =)

it's an event put together by my church. live band, good music, yummy food and greAt company. what more can u ask for. love it! =) hmm.. pity the pictures are with elaine-my church friend. i'll post them up when i got hold of them.

time really flies..lectures for the semester just ended this week. and sTUdy week is here!! need ta get down to mugging and doing the assignments. i suspect i'm having a writer's block.. :( couldn't get the flow of writing and finding the right words.. i accounted it to a lack of stress-relievers. haha now that i've had my share of rest and fun. it's back to the books~

hmm heard some jaw-dropping news from someone yesterday.. first thing that came to my mind was.. how could he/she??? the first rule of thumb for relationships (for me) at least, is to be faithful. but that person broke this rule x 1001, in terms of severity scale. unbelievable. and yet, there's nothing much outsiders can do anything about it. hopefully, the "1" has come to his senses..

counting down to the number of days home - 56. can't wait.. *scratch chin. thinking of planning a "s'pore hawker crawl" with mominghui gals. (yy n jing.. on? :D)

anyway, thank God for the events that happened this weekend. the upcoming month would be gruelling, especially with my take-home exams coming up in 2 weeks' time. but i'm kinda looking forward to the adrenaline rush of datelines and exams. especially when the topics interest me. so i hope that the exam topics are interesting!

here's a chapter from ecclesiates 12. it is my favorite chapter of the book. on first read it may seem nothing more like a flowery play of words.. but on deeper reading, it reveals the meaningless quality of our material pursuits, and what truly matters at the strings of our heart, on the day which all of us will come to experience and take the last breath of life.

12: 1Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;

12: 2While the sun, or the light, or the moon, or the stars, be not darkened, nor the clouds return after the rain:

12:3In the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strong men shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened,

12:4And the doors shall be shut in the streets, when the sound of the grinding is low, and he shall rise up at the voice of the bird, and all the daughters of music shall be brought low;

12:5Also [when] they shall be afraid of [that which is] high, and fears [shall be] in the way, and the almond tree shall flourish, and the grasshopper shall be a burden, and desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets:

12:6Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.

12:7Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

12:8Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all [is] vanity.
12: 13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this [is] the whole [duty] of man.

12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether [it be] good, or whether [it be] evil.

2008-10-27T02:44:00.000-07:00

wei fang is feeling a bit jaded, not knowing why.

she wishes for occasional bright orange hue of happiness to come along. but it doesn't quite often happen.

Last lap ahead for this semester. 3 major assignments, 2 take home exams and 1 quiz..

tick tick tick...

2008-10-19T02:25:00.000-07:00

Let me ask you something.

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?

If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?

If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

This came from "Evan Almighty", a movie which I watched over the weekend. This was a conversation between God (played by Morgan Freeman) and Joan Baxter at a food joint. After the conversation, she came to realise, that to make her prayers answered, it is down to hER to make it happen. Not for things to happen by itself.

I thought, what am I expecting out of my prayers when I pray? am I like Joan?

Many of us pray for things, things that we want for ourselves, be it virtues, material things, or for situations to turn around during tough times. But we never thought of how God is to answer our prayers. I guess humans, being humans, always think that it will be given, like a freebie from a shop or a dollar coin found along the pavement.

But on hindsight, I realised God is indeed a sovereign God. Whatever happened for the last few months has taught me more humility than I ever could see in myself. And I thanked Him for that.

Towards the last bit of the show, God explains the meaning of ark, when Evan asked Him why was he chosen to build an ark.

God: How do we change the world?
Evan Baxter: One single act of random kindness at a time.
God: [spoken while writing A-R-K on ground with a stick] One Act, of, Random, Kindness.

Yep, an Act of Random Kindness. :)

bandwagon effect

2008-10-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

"The Bandwagon Effect, also known as social proof or "cromo effect", is the observation that people often do and believe things because many other people do and believe the same things. The effect is often pejoratively called herding instinct, particularly when applied to adolescents. People tend to follow the crowd without examining the merits of a particular thing.

During the 1992 U.S. presidential election, Vicki G. Morwitz and Carol Pluzinski conducted a study, which was published in The Journal of Consumer Research. At a large northeastern university, some of 214 volunteer business students were given the results of student and national polls indicating that Bill Clinton was in the lead. Others were not exposed to the results of the polls. Several students who had intended to vote for Bush changed their minds after seeing the poll results (Morwitz and Pluzinski 58-64)." From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sociology always amazes me. And I'll like to read more about it someday. This social theory just highlights and scorns on the naivety of our actions.

What we act upon, is based on what we believe. But our perceptions/belief towards a person/thing are so easily fooled into another's opinion, so greatly shaped by other people's opinion, just because the majority thinks that way. Often, we do not realise that we are falling into a trend, especially in the case of cliques. Sadly, when trapped in this situation, one does not consider the falseness or truthfulness of matters when it happens.

What dOes happens, is that no credit will be given when credit is due, or give vindication when one mistakes another for something else.

Understandably, most of us choose to stay in line within the majority's opinion, in order to stay in the favour of others. There's just one thing to note: this bandwagon effect applies particularly to - adolescents.

2008-10-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

canberra here i come! :)

2008-10-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

What constitutes faith? The word of God says, “It is the trust in things unseen, and believing it will actually come to pass”. True, and this is my dissected interpretation of faith:
1) A strong belief in a specific person or issue.
2) Total conviction that the belief is true or will eventually come true.
3) Even when situation turns entirely diametrical, the things you believe in still does not waver.

In the events that happened in the last 2 weeks, I have been thrown far out of my expectations. Situations which were the least expected, at the least appropriate timings. I thought I had lost all faith in humanity. But, as the saying goes, “what does not break you makes you stronger.” Honestly, no one’s absolutely right or wrong. And everyone had good intentions, regardless or not the thought justify the act. It is a closed chapter now and may time bring to pass the healing of invisible wounds.

I hope.

“Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons.”
Blaise Pascal

群体动物

2008-09-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

hm mid semester break is here! haha. 2 weeks of idling your time away. not worrying about having to do work. :D

Slept at 4am yesterday! hmm the result of a 3 hr nap in the afternoon. I was having a migraine on my way back from school.. made my head felt so heavy. It must be the heat~ so, when i came back, decided to sleep it off with a nap. Anw, good thing is, i managed to stay up and chat with some friends on msn yesterday. It felt really good talking to old friends.. not implying u're old, huijing! :P and i will seriously think about wat u told me! hahaha.thanks for the advice~

Anyway, remembering my secondary school days, my girl guide friends and I went to the same tuition centre for maths and physics classes. We always attended the classes in groups of 4 or 5, almost always planned to study somewhere together, and never once went to class alone. There was this day where the centre was fully booked. So, Mr. Ho our tutor asked us, "why do we have to always come together?"
Not missing a beat, i replied, cos homosapiens are herd creatures, aka "群体动物". :)
Thus, i was nicknamed "群体动物" by mr ho from there after. haha.

I guess man can not stand alone. maybe sometimes, but not always. every now and then, we need to search for support, encouragement and loving words from one another. And these are the times, where i thought of how God made each of us special, yet the same. Special in our own differences and uniqueness, but same in our needs.

Maybe for today, try to think of someone special whom u haven't contacted for a long time. Drop him or her a call, an sms, a msg on msn, an email or a postcard. Just that simple act might just make their day. =)
cos no man is an island~

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm along?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of 3 strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:9~

start of spring~

2008-09-21T03:44:00.000-07:00

Ask me about this week and i'll say it's warmth, warmth and more warmth!~ Feeling the blazing rays into my skin is one of my new definition of sydney spring. Thanks to the sun, my feet now has a horizontal crescent just beneath my toes. The result of unintentional tanning wearing the same pair of shoes. haha.

Conference week has just ended. Surprisingly, i've learnt more this week than i ever had in my 8 weeks of semester since the start of school. Each presentation was very much an eye-opening experience to many different physiotherapy topics and specialty. All in a short span of 2 hours.

Speaking up infront of crowd has never been my forte, nor many of my s'porean classmates. but this time round, the conference week has made me come out of my comfort zone(to vocalize in front of unfamiliar crowds). Though i feel that i could have done better in one or two occasions, it has been satisfying so far. Afterall, life is about learning and making the unfamiliar familiar, isn't it?

One thing i'm impressed with (again), is the articulate nature of my coursemates. They were all really vocal during the presentations, and many with impressive skills of on-the-spot delivery of speeches; tactfully answering questions, even to those they have no/little knowledge of. More than one time, i've been asking this question. "What is so different about their education and upbringing that brought about this difference btn us?"

I guess it has to do with our culture.. they encourage speaking up more, doesn't mark one down or judge even if u get the wrong answer. which is a contrast from my childhood memories of school. Students speak up only when u r asked to, and that's when u're really really sure of the answer cos any wrong answer will render a disapproving shake or look from your teachers. Well, this simple reflection just make me resolute in my (future) upbringing of my kids. (haha. think too far eh?) Anyways, I will definitely encourage my kids to be unafraid of mistakes, and if they got it wrong, i'll jus give them a smile and a pat on their head, and ask them to try again. :)

Went shopping @ bankstown yesterday. Bought a new pair of shades, 2 tops and a dress! *smiles~ the shades is my most expensive buy so far. cost me a hefty 80 bucks after a 25% discount. but it's category 2 for UV ray protection. major plus that it fits nicely above my chubby cheeks~ haha wat can i say? it's simply irresistable! :D

me and amal having a bit of fun with the colorful specs :D

There's a mid-sem break in 2 week's time! and there are plans for a trip to canberra. hehe. super excited and can't wait!~ :)

blowing the cold winter away~

2008-09-10T03:59:00.000-07:00

spring's finally here. :)

For winter's rains and ruins are over,
And all the season of snows and sins;
The days dividing lover and lover,
The light that loses, the night that wins;
And time remembered is grief forgotten,
And frosts are slain and flowers begotten,
And in green underwood and cover
Blossom by blossom the spring begins.

by Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837–1909)

2 sides to a coin

2008-09-05T18:26:00.001-07:00

I woke up with the mist forming on the window glass this morning. Another cold dreary morning… It’s been raining non-stop for the last 2 days. Hope the rain will stop by tomorrow.

Just started watching Season 1 of Heroes. Hiro’s my fav character. He’s not afraid to chase his “super-hiro” dreams, puts everything into 2 categories of right/wrong and truly believes in the people around him. Like the scene his side-kick Ando told him that every superhero has secrets and convinced him that his secret to survive is to use his powers to cheat and earn some casino chips. He plainly believed. He’s somewhat like a child.. with childlike bravery, faith and enthusiasm. Oblivious to the schemes of the world and full of hope.

That’s what I like about him.

Well, sometimes, people choose what they want to see and ignore the things that aren’t convenient for them. Just like 2 sides to a coin – one side shiny and the other side stained with dirt. Without flipping over the coin on a table, one can say that this coin is dirty and filthy. But if one choose to flip the coin over, one can see the other side of it. shiny and clean.

Many of us just see one side of the coin. And we don’t bother to find out the truth. Then you’re wrong. You’ll just walk away thinking the coin is stained of dirt, or the coin is sparkling clean. Either way is contrary from the truth.

My point is, sometimes a little out of your convenience to see both sides of the coin, will tell you a whole lot about what’s going on.

So, my friends you can choose today if you want to believe what’s real, or choose to believe people out of convenience.

relishing life, surviving life

2008-08-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

I've finally gotten broadband service at home~! which means no more dial-up (it's sooo slow :l), no more wasting time gg back school for internet, and best of all, all the time to msn ppl back home. finallY. :)

Well, these few weeks have been quite busy, unexpectedly. I guess after hearing from my seniors how slack things are when they were doing the course here, my expectations were set quite low. haha but noW, i can see it's far from reality. Just take this week for example, everyone's busy preparing for a conference week in 2 weeks' time. I've got 5 presentations to prepare for, which jolly well means a presentation a day for a week! It's different working with the locals too.. they're definitely more casual and informal, warm up to work partners faster but nonetheless take work very seriously. and somehow, make work more enjoyable. that's something i hope to bring back~ haha.

Anyway, I came across this piece of convocation speech on a friend's blog, which was delivered by this litigator at D&N, adrian tan. The words just caught me straightaway when i read it. It talks about what life is all about, and in fact, life is about nothing.. or nothing much anyway..so throw away all inhibitions and just liVe. haha i just find it amusingly different from what we would normally think life to be. Well, the bottomline of the speech is: Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

If your first thoughts are "hUH?" that's exactly what i thought too. haha. just spend a few minutes to read through it. and i hope this (see below) brings as much food for thought to you, as it has for me.

Have a beautiful day ahead~ :)

*****************

Life and How to Survive It

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day tellingpeople how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning. You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong process" and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they're wrong. The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy. I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much. That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills. The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are "making a living". No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction - probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitatetowards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say "be loved". That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.
***************************

winter into spring

2008-08-26T22:13:00.000-07:00
hmm have been feeling rather indecisive lately.. should i or should i not go back for summer vacation??

Few weeks back, i was sure to stay in sydney for the summer. i tot - why not just spend some time exploring sydney's summer for the first and possibly last time.. since i'll only have a year here. But right now, those feelings of home sickness is back. Speaking to friends and family back home made me want to go back to singapore in DEc.. to catch up with long missed friends, to savour my grammy's home cooked food, to return to my own cosy lil' room..to spend a day just lazing around at home.. and to celebrate CNY with my family!

There's so many things i'll want to do when i return home. that's what making the decision to stay or return in Dec so tough to make. Urgh. i wish someone could jus help me decide. now i finally understood why my younger brother would spend so much to buy a plane ticket back home from LSE for the festives last year.

well, it's 3 months away. hmm i guess i still have time to decide.

anyway, it was the warmest day in 5 weeks yesterday.. which means spring is coming and the dreadful cold is finAlly going away. yippies~ :)

what's the point? ecclesiates 7

2008-08-19T18:18:00.000-07:00
wat's the point of being here and now? wat's the point of this whole life?

call me an unnecessary thinker but i can't help but ask myself this qn more than once this week. It is my 6th week here. everything has been flashing by so quickly and somehow, quite meaninglessly. It's been a routine day in day out, so much so that u don't realise what's different anymore.

there's a part of me which wants to make moRe out of my stay here. and another part of me wanting to break free from all monotomy. Try different things, take more risks... or just breakaway from usual habits.

God has been really kind to me these past few weeks.. I guess one thing that affirms my presence here in sydney is the plans He has laid for me. The very reason I'm in physiotherapy.

Through the hiccups that happened last week, I've realised that God's grace is always available for you.. In His time. I've doubt and waited, but followed with trust and faith. It's not easy but His wisdom is always greater, and in the end, my prayer was answered. It fact, it was more than i could imagine.

Right after we moved into an unfurbished apartment, I felt really disconnected from news and all, and really cut out from entertainment. So, i wanted to look for a tv set. I was searching around for awhile and couldn't find anything affordable.. my housemates also din quite like the idea of buying a television set. Also, i was looking for a guitar. Then 2 sundays ago, i received 2 gifts from a church friend - a 14 inch tv set and a yamaha guitar. It was absolutely a surprise. haha. Now, i've got a guitar sitting in my room and a tv sitting in my lounge, for fRee.

God's a generous giver~ :)

hummingbird's song

2008-07-31T17:53:00.000-07:00
Alas, i've managed to find time to update my blog. For the past 3 weeks, I have been absorbed into a whirlwind of finding a place, moving, and getting furnitures. Busy is an understatement. Most of the time, I didn't even know what's going on. But one thing i'm sure is, moving house ain't an easy job. Now that I'm all settled down, I really thank God for my housemates. They're an awesome lot. :)

I'm still trying to figure out how to upload pictures on my blog. Will put my house pics online soon!! ~

School's just started this week. And i lOve my timetable. haha. There's lots of self-directed learning. Lectures only on mondays, so that basically means loads of free time. But that doesn't mean there's no need to do work. There's still a fair amount of readings that one has to be discipline enough to complete.

Anw, my school is abt 2 train stops away from school. My housemates and I usually walk to school to save on transport. I love my daily one-hour walk to school, surprisingly. I love the serenity it gives me as I take in the sights and smells of my surroundings. Just today, there was a hummingbird perching itself near a flower, and a tall lonely dandelion near a school fence. They're so pretty! haha it sounds odd but it kind of kick-start my day on a happy note.

Now that everything's more or less settled, it's time to get the priorities right. Fun is important, and what's more important is what i'm here for.

TO learn, to grow and to fulfil my purpose.

Jer 29:11 "For I know my plans and purpose for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

new beginnings~

2008-07-09T16:44:00.000-07:00
This 4 days in Sydney passed like a frenzy. All 4 of us - jas, leo, clara and me are just buzzing around, visiting real estate agencies to source for a rental houses. It's crazy but the property market are really scarce now. Especially now that the city is hosting its first World Youth Day. :(

Well, I wanna say a Big THANK YOU to those who sent me off at the airport on Sunday. My parents and family, evon, ziyu, charmaine, lynn, yizhuang, felicia, huijing, jingqi and jingyi! :) really appreciate you guys for making your way there to send me off. And the cards were zomb! (a zillion oh my gosh) i am really really touched.

Hmm yesterday night, my friends and I were waiting outside a station around 6 pm for a cab. The sky was already dark and was about 9 degree celsius! Brr... unfortunately, we waited for close to 45 mins for one cab. The wait was really freezing cold.. my teeth were clattering non-stop and my nose started turning red. hm I must really start to get used to the cold. :S

Anyways, I've realised that a patience and magnanimous heart is very important for being overseas. Everyone has their character and preference, so give and take is a must for peace-making. As i spent my tawg yesterday, i felt that God wants to use this opportunity to hone my independency. It's time to step out of my comfort zone, and venture into newer things.

As Psalm 91 from David writes,
"1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. "

Hope we'll have more luck with house-viewing today! :)

pre-departure thoughts..

2008-07-04T10:01:00.001-07:00
I guess everyone has their moments.. moments they begin to think of what the future holds. Well, now is my moment.

2 weeks ago, when i was packing my room of its clutter, the feeling of leaving home for a year, for the first time, finally set in. I was thinking, "SO, this is IT. i'm really setting off".

As i am typing this first entry, my room is stripped of its usual mess (haha..for once) and looks bare. My luggage is almost packed and i suspect it's much too heavy. I know i'm not a minimalist, waiye! but no worries, it's definitely not over weight. haha..

Honestly, I'm not an adventurous person.. and change is not my cup of tea. But i know this trip is filled of uncertainties and change. So i'm gonna brace myself for all things ahead. :)

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (phil 4:13)

Now as i begin to count down to the days of my departure for Sydney, i know that i'll surely miss home. Home with all the people I love and care for, with all its familiar sights and sounds.

Take care, my loved ones. :)