"Save some face, you've only got one."
I've been thinking, should i or should i not pen this down. and obviously, i've decided to.. this blog has always been an outlet to my emotions and i've decided to be honest with my feelings.
recently, a friend, X, misinterpreted some things that i've said as a joke and apparently got quite annoyed. it was a light-hearted comment made in a light hearted atmosphere. but that person was pretty pissed and wrote pretty offensive words towards me on msn nick, which consist of the f... word.
I was quite upset by it.. but instead of feeling angry about it, i tried to explain things and even offered an apology. but apparently, the person is still quite emo about it and refuses to soften his/her stand.
I've talked to a few friends, who knew both of us. They think the person is too sensitive about it and told me not to trouble over it. But me being me, I have been bothered by it for the past few days.
I've always taken that person as a friend, albeit not a very close one, but someone whom i definitely could place trust in.
After this incident, I'm just not sure anymore.
All i can say is that, don't put your expectations too high about others and be really careful with your words with certain people. Cos sadly, people judge one another using their own yardstick and standards.
I just wished things were different..
WHen things could be simple, where people treat people with a pure and open heart, with respect, with trust and with love.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
new beginnings
Okay, the new term just started. and i'm still sniffing away.. esp in the mornings. everytime when i have to blow my nose (which is almost once every 10 secs), i really hope my nose won't fall off on my next sneeze. Aiz.. when will my runny nose go away?
Anyway, it feels alright to be back. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.
Had a bad scare with my timetable yesterday. apparently, all of friends had a similar timetable with at least one other person they know (this means they have a tutorial buddy), all except for me. haha. for everyone who knows me well, i'm a xenophobic and this is really bad news.
Just as i was about to resign to my fate/awful timetable, i decided to give it another shot by attempting to change my timetable on our school's online web. (How it works is tt you can submit a special request to block out a period of time in your week, if you have other commitments during that time e.g work or any other special reasons. The system will generate a new timetable giving you free time during those times that you've blocked out.)
This means that i can get an entirely new timetable, which may be for the better or worst, with more/less hours of break in between lessons. And there's a chance that i'll still have no tut buddy.
Nonetheless, i went ahead with trying, thinking there's nothing to lose.
And i got an exact same timetable as TWO of my friends! :)
He is truly our Jehovah Jireh. my God provides.
My stomach's rumbling.. it's almost 12pm and i haven't had my breakfast. don't really feel like having cereals for breakfast but there's not much options cos we've not gone for groceries shopping yet.
i. am. missing. my. favourite. fishball. noodles. =/
Anyway, it feels alright to be back. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.
Had a bad scare with my timetable yesterday. apparently, all of friends had a similar timetable with at least one other person they know (this means they have a tutorial buddy), all except for me. haha. for everyone who knows me well, i'm a xenophobic and this is really bad news.
Just as i was about to resign to my fate/awful timetable, i decided to give it another shot by attempting to change my timetable on our school's online web. (How it works is tt you can submit a special request to block out a period of time in your week, if you have other commitments during that time e.g work or any other special reasons. The system will generate a new timetable giving you free time during those times that you've blocked out.)
This means that i can get an entirely new timetable, which may be for the better or worst, with more/less hours of break in between lessons. And there's a chance that i'll still have no tut buddy.
Nonetheless, i went ahead with trying, thinking there's nothing to lose.
And i got an exact same timetable as TWO of my friends! :)
He is truly our Jehovah Jireh. my God provides.
My stomach's rumbling.. it's almost 12pm and i haven't had my breakfast. don't really feel like having cereals for breakfast but there's not much options cos we've not gone for groceries shopping yet.
i. am. missing. my. favourite. fishball. noodles. =/
Thursday, February 26, 2009
catching the tails of my last long vacation~
holiday has come to an end. overall, it's been a good vacation.
here's a list of things that i've accomplished!
1) Joined my first Chingay parade.
2) Travelled to melbourne, gold coast and canberra
3) Spent CNY '09 with my family and friends
4) Handled a class of 30 ten-year-old monkeys
5) Watched 8 movies - australia, bedtime stories, red cliff 2, Ip man, valkyrie, the curious story of benjamin buttons, he's just not that into you & slumdog millionaire. (especially enjoyed benjamin buttons. must admit brad pitt's acting was better than i expected.. and i absolutely lOve <3 the endinG! )
sigh. feeling rather pensive right now about going back.. how i wish holidays don't end..
perhaps i should try to increase my serotonin levels.. so that i can somehow increase my positivity. or maybe it is just another excuse for me to have chocolates without feeling guilty.
hm no time for pensive thoughts.
got to get back to packing!
here's a list of things that i've accomplished!
1) Joined my first Chingay parade.
2) Travelled to melbourne, gold coast and canberra
3) Spent CNY '09 with my family and friends
4) Handled a class of 30 ten-year-old monkeys
5) Watched 8 movies - australia, bedtime stories, red cliff 2, Ip man, valkyrie, the curious story of benjamin buttons, he's just not that into you & slumdog millionaire. (especially enjoyed benjamin buttons. must admit brad pitt's acting was better than i expected.. and i absolutely lOve <3 the endinG! )
sigh. feeling rather pensive right now about going back.. how i wish holidays don't end..
perhaps i should try to increase my serotonin levels.. so that i can somehow increase my positivity. or maybe it is just another excuse for me to have chocolates without feeling guilty.
hm no time for pensive thoughts.
got to get back to packing!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
things that i know are (/not) meant to be
Some thiNgs are meant not to be spoken
no words are needed
stark silence says it all
Some thiNgs despite all the words
remains but an abstract
defined by our own interpretation
Some thiNgs are meant to be
no man can take away
no man can change
SOla fide, by faith
iT will unfold
like a blossoming flower
Sola gratia, by grace
iT will be moulded
like clay in a potter's hands
some things are surely meant to be
though unseen, but by faith and grace,
iT will come in God's timing.
no words are needed
stark silence says it all
Some thiNgs despite all the words
remains but an abstract
defined by our own interpretation
Some thiNgs are meant to be
no man can take away
no man can change
SOla fide, by faith
iT will unfold
like a blossoming flower
Sola gratia, by grace
iT will be moulded
like clay in a potter's hands
some things are surely meant to be
though unseen, but by faith and grace,
iT will come in God's timing.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Life's like a sinosoidal curve
"I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world."
Louis Armstrong - What a wonderful world.
What beautiful lyrics. It caught my breath the first instance i heard them. Such soulful words.
I've been feeling emo lately. It feels like i'm travelling on a sinusoidal curve, finding myself sliding down the peak of the curve. uncontrollable. until i hit the bottom of it.
And I ask myself, "why?"
I've come to realise that there is a great amount of pathy in me towards another person's problems. It might be a good thing to naturally be able to feel for someone else, but it is unbearable when you find yourself powerless to help them. Especially when they are people who means a great deal to you.
I wonder if i could stop being so easily affected by people i care about..
:(
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world."
Louis Armstrong - What a wonderful world.
What beautiful lyrics. It caught my breath the first instance i heard them. Such soulful words.
I've been feeling emo lately. It feels like i'm travelling on a sinusoidal curve, finding myself sliding down the peak of the curve. uncontrollable. until i hit the bottom of it.
And I ask myself, "why?"
I've come to realise that there is a great amount of pathy in me towards another person's problems. It might be a good thing to naturally be able to feel for someone else, but it is unbearable when you find yourself powerless to help them. Especially when they are people who means a great deal to you.
I wonder if i could stop being so easily affected by people i care about..
:(
Thursday, February 5, 2009
i want to be the next jamie oliver!~ (maybe when i retire =P)
Menu: Creamy Spaghetti with Scallop & Asparagus~
My first attempt!
My second attempt!
THe first and second picture looks similar because i used the same utensils, background and almoST the same ingredients. The difference is that i omitted ham + huge mushroom from the first attempt cos i felt that the whole dish tasted both meaty and seafoody..too heavy on the tastebuds. SO, i used plainly the seafood with asparagus, carrots and chopped mushrooms on e second try..
Also, i pan-seared the scallops and dory fish coated with sesame seeds. (THis i learnt from "surreal gourmet") It is a really simple way of cooking white meat and tasted really good. The fragrant of the sesame seeds complemented well with the seafood, me thinks. oh! and i added some chopped chilli into the cream for a slightly spicy-tangy aftertaste. :)
Anyway, had a really great time cooking today! :) finished the cooking and cleaning under an hour. hooray! wat's more, daddy even had a 2nd serving. :D
My first attempt!
My second attempt!
THe first and second picture looks similar because i used the same utensils, background and almoST the same ingredients. The difference is that i omitted ham + huge mushroom from the first attempt cos i felt that the whole dish tasted both meaty and seafoody..too heavy on the tastebuds. SO, i used plainly the seafood with asparagus, carrots and chopped mushrooms on e second try..
Also, i pan-seared the scallops and dory fish coated with sesame seeds. (THis i learnt from "surreal gourmet") It is a really simple way of cooking white meat and tasted really good. The fragrant of the sesame seeds complemented well with the seafood, me thinks. oh! and i added some chopped chilli into the cream for a slightly spicy-tangy aftertaste. :)
Anyway, had a really great time cooking today! :) finished the cooking and cleaning under an hour. hooray! wat's more, daddy even had a 2nd serving. :D
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
choked with emotions
"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."
I heard a friend speak of the nearing death of her mother today. Oddly, the topic seemed so far for me. I tried my very best to console and comfort her, but i knew i could never provide her all the support which she desperately needs now.. because i am not in her shoes.
I began suggesting ways for her to deal with this situation. "stay optimistic", "spend more time with her", "maybe set up a blog" etc.. But these words seemed lacking. I simply wished i was there, to give her a big hug to occupy the gaps that my words cannot fill.
Then, i remembered a woman with cancer who appeared on The Straits Times home section last week. I remember a woman who has this really big smile, with sparkle in her eyes. Even though it's a gray scale picture, it seems to shout out energy and life at every corner.
The woman in the picture was a victim of breast cancer. But she was not one of the ordinary cancer patients. Apparently, throughout her cancer fighting days, she and her husband started up a blog. Initially serving as a means to update their family and friends of her condition, it eventually became a source of inspiration and encouragement for many - both healthy and non-healthy.
I was utterly choked with emotions when i read her blog (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) this afternoon. The eulogy written by her husband, the memorial video of her, pictures of her family and stories of her daily fight with cancer. Her strong passion for life is just so infectious. In fact, i believe, she has managed to inspire and touch the life of many others. Her fight for cancer was never really her own.. in fact, her blog managed to garner like-minded souls for charitable works.
Self-reflection on my own life started minutes after i finished with her blog.
How am I leading my life right now?
Am I living my life to the fullest each day?
Do I express my love for my family and friends enough each day?
Each of these questions flashed through my mind. I believe I am working towards living my life to the fullest each day. There are many things that I want to do and have yet to do. I love my family and friends very much, and I am still learning to express my love for them.
At the end of the day, as the woman who have lived her life so brightly rightly puts it:
"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."
I heard a friend speak of the nearing death of her mother today. Oddly, the topic seemed so far for me. I tried my very best to console and comfort her, but i knew i could never provide her all the support which she desperately needs now.. because i am not in her shoes.
I began suggesting ways for her to deal with this situation. "stay optimistic", "spend more time with her", "maybe set up a blog" etc.. But these words seemed lacking. I simply wished i was there, to give her a big hug to occupy the gaps that my words cannot fill.
Then, i remembered a woman with cancer who appeared on The Straits Times home section last week. I remember a woman who has this really big smile, with sparkle in her eyes. Even though it's a gray scale picture, it seems to shout out energy and life at every corner.
The woman in the picture was a victim of breast cancer. But she was not one of the ordinary cancer patients. Apparently, throughout her cancer fighting days, she and her husband started up a blog. Initially serving as a means to update their family and friends of her condition, it eventually became a source of inspiration and encouragement for many - both healthy and non-healthy.
I was utterly choked with emotions when i read her blog (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) this afternoon. The eulogy written by her husband, the memorial video of her, pictures of her family and stories of her daily fight with cancer. Her strong passion for life is just so infectious. In fact, i believe, she has managed to inspire and touch the life of many others. Her fight for cancer was never really her own.. in fact, her blog managed to garner like-minded souls for charitable works.
Self-reflection on my own life started minutes after i finished with her blog.
How am I leading my life right now?
Am I living my life to the fullest each day?
Do I express my love for my family and friends enough each day?
Each of these questions flashed through my mind. I believe I am working towards living my life to the fullest each day. There are many things that I want to do and have yet to do. I love my family and friends very much, and I am still learning to express my love for them.
At the end of the day, as the woman who have lived her life so brightly rightly puts it:
"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."
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