things that i know are (/not) meant to be

Some thiNgs are meant not to be spoken
no words are needed
stark silence says it all

Some thiNgs despite all the words
remains but an abstract
defined by our own interpretation

Some thiNgs are meant to be
no man can take away
no man can change

SOla fide, by faith
iT will unfold
like a blossoming flower

Sola gratia, by grace
iT will be moulded
like clay in a potter's hands

some things are surely meant to be
though unseen, but by faith and grace,
iT will come in God's timing.

Life's like a sinosoidal curve

"I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world."

Louis Armstrong - What a wonderful world.

What beautiful lyrics. It caught my breath the first instance i heard them. Such soulful words.

I've been feeling emo lately. It feels like i'm travelling on a sinusoidal curve, finding myself sliding down the peak of the curve. uncontrollable. until i hit the bottom of it.

And I ask myself, "why?"

I've come to realise that there is a great amount of pathy in me towards another person's problems. It might be a good thing to naturally be able to feel for someone else, but it is unbearable when you find yourself powerless to help them. Especially when they are people who means a great deal to you.

I wonder if i could stop being so easily affected by people i care about..

:(

i want to be the next jamie oliver!~ (maybe when i retire =P)

Menu: Creamy Spaghetti with Scallop & Asparagus~







My first attempt!









My second attempt!






THe first and second picture looks similar because i used the same utensils, background and almoST the same ingredients. The difference is that i omitted ham + huge mushroom from the first attempt cos i felt that the whole dish tasted both meaty and seafoody..too heavy on the tastebuds. SO, i used plainly the seafood with asparagus, carrots and chopped mushrooms on e second try..

Also, i pan-seared the scallops and dory fish coated with sesame seeds. (THis i learnt from "surreal gourmet") It is a really simple way of cooking white meat and tasted really good. The fragrant of the sesame seeds complemented well with the seafood, me thinks. oh! and i added some chopped chilli into the cream for a slightly spicy-tangy aftertaste. :)

Anyway, had a really great time cooking today! :) finished the cooking and cleaning under an hour. hooray! wat's more, daddy even had a 2nd serving. :D

choked with emotions

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

I heard a friend speak of the nearing death of her mother today. Oddly, the topic seemed so far for me. I tried my very best to console and comfort her, but i knew i could never provide her all the support which she desperately needs now.. because i am not in her shoes.

I began suggesting ways for her to deal with this situation. "stay optimistic", "spend more time with her", "maybe set up a blog" etc.. But these words seemed lacking. I simply wished i was there, to give her a big hug to occupy the gaps that my words cannot fill.

Then, i remembered a woman with cancer who appeared on The Straits Times home section last week. I remember a woman who has this really big smile, with sparkle in her eyes. Even though it's a gray scale picture, it seems to shout out energy and life at every corner.

The woman in the picture was a victim of breast cancer. But she was not one of the ordinary cancer patients. Apparently, throughout her cancer fighting days, she and her husband started up a blog. Initially serving as a means to update their family and friends of her condition, it eventually became a source of inspiration and encouragement for many - both healthy and non-healthy.

I was utterly choked with emotions when i read her blog (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) this afternoon. The eulogy written by her husband, the memorial video of her, pictures of her family and stories of her daily fight with cancer. Her strong passion for life is just so infectious. In fact, i believe, she has managed to inspire and touch the life of many others. Her fight for cancer was never really her own.. in fact, her blog managed to garner like-minded souls for charitable works.

Self-reflection on my own life started minutes after i finished with her blog.

How am I leading my life right now?
Am I living my life to the fullest each day?
Do I express my love for my family and friends enough each day?

Each of these questions flashed through my mind. I believe I am working towards living my life to the fullest each day. There are many things that I want to do and have yet to do. I love my family and friends very much, and I am still learning to express my love for them.

At the end of the day, as the woman who have lived her life so brightly rightly puts it:

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

Happy牛Year!

Chinese new year is all about keeping traditions. Having reunion dinner with the whole family, receiving angbaos, special new year greetings to the elderly are all part of our chinese practices for this festive occasion. To me, it is a much-valued day where everyone takes time off their busy lives, to spend well-deserved quality time with their family.

I often wonder if these traditions will be kept for the next few generations. With the demise of my maternal grandparents (few years ago), many of my relatives from that side of the family stopped keeping in touch with one another. which is kind of sad. Comparatively, my paternal grandparents are still around, and the ties of the family members on our paternal side are much closer. I reasoned this is because my grandparents are the gel that holds the family together.

Anyway, this year's celebration has been awesome! haha. Perhaps even better than previous years of chinese new year celebrations. I guess this is because I've been away, and being away from your family makes you miss your family and somehow makes you realise how much they mean to you.

Simply put, there's nowhere better than home. :)


my family <3

wide-eye gaze

have you ever gazed upon the horizon and notice the passing of clouds?

have you ever stay put in one spot and notice the passing crowds?

For the past 3 weeks back home, I've felt more serenity and peace than I've ever had before. More often than not, a simple sight makes me smile. Be it a cherubic child on a pram, a pretty flower blossoming at its fullest, or an old couple walking down the gravel pavement holding hands, it never fails to bring a crescent to my cheeks.

I've been thinking, what have these past few weeks mean to me? indeed, i felt a temporary high from all the wonderful reunions that occurred in the first 2 weeks. and most definitely, savoured the most delicious cuisine - singapore street food (glutonny me :S). Now, i am living each day with absolutely laid-backness. Simply letting each day go past unhurried, and undemanding. What an absolute contrast from the workaholic me just over a year ago! Call it the OZ influence. :p

Just a few days ago, i was having one of my regular jogs in the precinct of punggol park when the view of the lake caught my eye. Shimmering sunlight glistened on the surface of the waterbody, bringing my eyes to a squint. Along the borders of the lake were cat-tails, long and willowy, swaying gracefully with the breeze. I can't help but stop to think, how beautiful.

Not doubt many of us find singapore a stressful and hectic place, but that doesn't mean that one cannot find peace in this metropolitan city. It is important that amidst our busy moments, take a minute or two to pause, and smell the roses.

You will be surprise at what greets you ahead. The sights, the smell, the sound, and aha, the taste! Take it all in. This is afterall, our home. :)

Spur of the moment

I've entered an entry in reader's digest, asia! haha. out of a spur of the moment.

It's a conversation that really took place, between my mum and my cousin hazel. haha. But I improvised the role of my mum into a granny for more humour. well, if my entry does get in, I'll be richer by 100 dollars. *fingers crossed
Here's my maiden entry!

One day, I was talking on the phone to my seven-year-old granddaughter, Hazel. Being a chatterbox, she began telling me about her day in school in every detail. That's when i asked her, "Do you remember what day is today?"

"I don't remember", she replied.

"Today's Monday, how can you be so forgetful, darling", I teased.

And she said, "I'm getting old, grandma".

:)