Thursday, July 23, 2009

5 centimetres per second

my heart aches after watching this film just minutes ago. the show delicately portrayed the message that, the passing of time, inevitably draws people apart.. even those who once so firmly believed that their hearts are tied as one.

the short film ended with 2 of the main characters crossing each other's path on the streets many years later. As they walked past each other, only a split second of eye-contact was made.. and no conversation was exchanged.

Once, their lives were entwined.

Now, they have become 2 parallel lines that never would meet again.

):

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

the rest is still unwritten

What constitutes an education? I suppose it is the acquirement of knowledge to gain insights into an array of territories, be it mathematics, science, arts or language.

Education breeds knowledge, and hopefully, gives rise to wisdom. It also matures the mind, enabling one to develop an insight into self, and hence guiding one to make wise decisions or actions that one truly desires.

Education provides an avenue of opportunities. For many who are not born with a silver spoon, education is the most legitimate, albeit difficult way, to a promised future. For others, it is a doorway to materialise their dreams, to achieve the desires of their heart, or clichely put, to fulfill their purpose in life.

Whatever the reason may be, the desire to succeed or gain fulfilment in life, is the fundamental drive for one's educational pursuits.

I may not be speaking for everyone, but I speak for myself and a group of like-minded people, that education also carved my character and values to a large extent. For this, I meant education from all environments, be it at home by your parents or seniors, or in a formal institutional settings by teachers and even, your peers.

The daily interactions from my mentors and same-aged peers, for the past 18 years, is pretty much what moulds my thinking today. It is also the very reason why i abhor smokers, believe in doing charity and treasure my close ones.

Perhaps I am being too melodramatic, but at this approaching termination of my 18 year long education, I am feeling a wave of emotions.

Uncertainties and excitement fills me as I look forward to the future. And much like the song, the rest is still unwritten.

Link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lFXy5bIiSA => A very VERY uplifting song, i feel! :) i'm posting the link here cos the uploading took forever.


"Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah"
Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten Lyrics

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

i don't wanna know what lies ahead

the date of revelation's drawing nearer. and i don't want to know.

So what am i supposed to do with these apprehensions?
You better believe things are changing
And I'm almost mad at myself
For letting it get this far
Once again my heart's in my throat
And i still don't know how I've let this happen
But I'll look past this and I'll turn the page
Keep my eyes on whats ahead
Take it day by day, lets go
I'll look past this
Keep my eyes on whats ahead
Take it day by day
Never will I understand why I've let things get like this
Go, whoa, stop!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

single-minded in faith



"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. "
James 1:2-7

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

exams.over.forever?

i can't explain my feelings now.. fell sick last night with a terrible flu and sore throat, right after the exams ended. Felt confident during the paper, but after i submitted it, felt strangely the opposite. Like a typical pisces, i began being over-the-tip sensitive about how i performed in the paper. a sick fearing of the worst came over me.

woke up this morning after a night of interrupted sleep. for some reason, i was awake most of the time trying to will myself to sleep. this is the 2nd time this has ever happened. and i'm fearing that there'll be more to come.

in the darkness of the room, with just a shade of moonlight coming through the window, i could feel the time stand still. freezing in its tracks. no motion and sound around me. the only thing i hear is my own breathing.. for a minute i thought i was drifting into sleep, but something just kept me away from rest.. i can't pin-point what. i just know that my mind's full of endless thoughts, and my body is aching for its due rest.

before i know it, i opened my eyes again. this time the sun's risen, and my clock says ten past nine. how long have i been asleep? don't know. but not long.

my head's aching, my body's still tired, my nose's blocked and my throat feels terribly sore. and my mind, my mind's still full of yesterday's worries, today's burden and tomorrow's uncertainties. why does everything seems to go wrong?

i'm asking God, why am i feeling this way? i'm praying for an answer.. and it has not come.

Is He asking for me to have more faith? or m i to be more patient? probably.

But amidst all, I just pray, that in God's will, everything will be alright.

Friday, May 15, 2009

the end of part I

Just completed my first 5 weeks of attachment..and now it's time to prepare my exams and take home papers for next week!

a)musculoskeletal paper (70% )
b)neuro take home exam (50% )
c)cardiopulmonary assignment (50% )...all due on Wed, the 20th of May! :(

I'm unsure of how the paper is going to be like.. so it's quite unsettling.

Right after this would be my next 5 weeks of attachment at a new place. another part of a long long journey.

7 more weekends to freedom.... counting down and looking forward to my dear friends who will be coming to visit!~ :)

"Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will make thy paths straight." Pro 3:5-6

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

recharge please!

i'm just tiredd. feeling the strain of continuous presentations, assignments and upcoming exams..nothing short of exhaustion.. like a car tank running low in fuel after a long haul.

i need rest. sleep. and good food.

Monday, April 20, 2009

abounding sea.... of knowledge!

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe."
-Marilyn Vos Savant-


RIght until last monday, i thought orthopaedic physiotherapy is one specialty full of protocols and without flexibility. But ever since the start of my clinicals last tuesday, my view of this is pretty much changed.

Orthopaedic physiotherapy in itself involves much more than applying the standard post-op treatments. It requires an indepth knowledge of the patient's condition and op procedure, and relating it to the anatomical structures that are involved. It is then that one can help improve patient's mobility/strength/range to its optimum, and help the patient return back to their normal daily living.

Understanding the underlying pathology fully and how it affects the patient is one important aspect that i've previously neglected. Now that this clinical placement has shown me the great influence of one's understanding of the condition on the plan of treatment, i'll never see ortho physio the same again.

It's also in times like this that I find knowledge in itself something that is so abounding, so powerful and so important.

To equip yourself with knowledge, benefits not only yourself but also those around you i.e the patient you are treating.

On this note, i've found a new drive for acquiring knowledge. One thing's for sure, there's no end to learning!

Monday, March 30, 2009

hillsongs live recording!~

I'm thinking, if music is the rhythm of life, Christ is the conductor.

Went to hillsongs live recording @ sydney entertainment centre last sunday! All i could say is that i've never seen so many people in fervor of Christ before. The songs were passionately sung, the atmosphere just breath-taking.

This live recording will be in their next album, "Tear down the walls". I can't wait to get hold of it! :)

It's amazing how God works His hands in our lives, how He plants turns and trials in our paths, only to guide us to our best.

I take comfort and strength that God is with me each day. :)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity
Hosanna in the highest

Friday, March 20, 2009

well well i've turned 23!


First time watching play @ Opera House (i couldn't appreciate the shakespearean english in the play but it was quite hilarious throughout. Overall, quite a nice experience. :) )


A nice angle picture taken by Jas


Group picture of the gals :)


MP4 - my birthday gift

A surprise gift by my housemates! love <3<3<3 IT! :D

It's a day passed my 23rd birthday and i woke up early this morning without sleeping in!

I think this deserves a celebration. haha. :p

Ask me how I feel towards getting one year older and I'll say "same lors". but deep down, I find myself thinking, "so what if i'm born today 23 years ago? no biggie."

But, after yesterday, I've realised that bday celebrations r not just about people wishing/texting people happy birthdays and people buying people presents (which is really stimulating to the economy right now.)

Birthday is the day you remind yourself of the loved ones around you, and how much YOU mean to them, and THEY to you.

I'm not saying the next bday comes around, someone buys a super big gift for another person or give super animated well-wishes by jumping and hugging the bday guy/gal would mean that this person care alot for him/her.

What I'm saying is people mAke an effort (no matter how sMall), to reach that bday friend/daughter/classmate personally before the end of her bday, to send their well-wishes.

That itself is an act of love.

Now, ask me the same about my birthday again, I'll probably say, "Thank you! with <3."

:)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

the people that made you, you.

It's the people in our lives, that makes up who we are.

People you are stuck with, people you choose to be with, no matter why or how you end up with them, these are the people who adds up to who you are.

You are, who you are how the world sees you to be. Every action, every word, every smile and every frown.

Take some courage. to cry. to smile. to get hurt. to be loved.

and to lIve.

Monday, March 9, 2009

mardi gras parade - it's raining men!







Last saturday, i attended my first street parade in sydney! haha. it's themed Mardi Gras, "Fat Tuesday" in french. well, it's a very very interesting event. see if u can read the words off the flag. you will know wat i mean! :P

Overall, it was a fun but tiring experience. the streets were soOoo crowded. and the people were just wiLD. that's a scene you won't get to see in s'pore.. total uninhibition. lol.

Started my first fellowship group at my church today! =) really really happy that our plans materialised. God provided us with venue, people and resources for our group. It really showed me (again) how the Almighty plans ahead for us. Jer 29:11 "For He has the plans for us, plans to prosper us and not harm, plans to give us a hope and a future."

Anyway, i've made a resolution to make the best out of my last term here. there's soo much i want to do - attending hillsongs conference, going to the outbacks, skiing and farmstay. but semester's more intense this time round, it's quite difficult to find extra time out for travelling. except for the upcoming easter weekend.. I'm going for a fARmstay trip! woots.

I have decided that, life's too short to be upset about things.. why focus on "unhappy-fying" matters when you can be happier without them. haha. sO, i've made a pact with myself to not be bothered with what happened last week and silently let tHe matter slip away into the crowded corner of my frontal cortex. and let it be forgotten with time.

yepyep, looking forward to more plans ahead! =)

(Ps: Jing and yy, thanks for your much-needed encouragement. i <3 u. )

Thursday, March 5, 2009

what i truly meant..

"Save some face, you've only got one."

I've been thinking, should i or should i not pen this down. and obviously, i've decided to.. this blog has always been an outlet to my emotions and i've decided to be honest with my feelings.

recently, a friend, X, misinterpreted some things that i've said as a joke and apparently got quite annoyed. it was a light-hearted comment made in a light hearted atmosphere. but that person was pretty pissed and wrote pretty offensive words towards me on msn nick, which consist of the f... word.

I was quite upset by it.. but instead of feeling angry about it, i tried to explain things and even offered an apology. but apparently, the person is still quite emo about it and refuses to soften his/her stand.

I've talked to a few friends, who knew both of us. They think the person is too sensitive about it and told me not to trouble over it. But me being me, I have been bothered by it for the past few days.

I've always taken that person as a friend, albeit not a very close one, but someone whom i definitely could place trust in.

After this incident, I'm just not sure anymore.

All i can say is that, don't put your expectations too high about others and be really careful with your words with certain people. Cos sadly, people judge one another using their own yardstick and standards.

I just wished things were different..

WHen things could be simple, where people treat people with a pure and open heart, with respect, with trust and with love.

Monday, March 2, 2009

new beginnings

Okay, the new term just started. and i'm still sniffing away.. esp in the mornings. everytime when i have to blow my nose (which is almost once every 10 secs), i really hope my nose won't fall off on my next sneeze. Aiz.. when will my runny nose go away?

Anyway, it feels alright to be back. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

Had a bad scare with my timetable yesterday. apparently, all of friends had a similar timetable with at least one other person they know (this means they have a tutorial buddy), all except for me. haha. for everyone who knows me well, i'm a xenophobic and this is really bad news.

Just as i was about to resign to my fate/awful timetable, i decided to give it another shot by attempting to change my timetable on our school's online web. (How it works is tt you can submit a special request to block out a period of time in your week, if you have other commitments during that time e.g work or any other special reasons. The system will generate a new timetable giving you free time during those times that you've blocked out.)

This means that i can get an entirely new timetable, which may be for the better or worst, with more/less hours of break in between lessons. And there's a chance that i'll still have no tut buddy.

Nonetheless, i went ahead with trying, thinking there's nothing to lose.

And i got an exact same timetable as TWO of my friends! :)

He is truly our Jehovah Jireh. my God provides.

My stomach's rumbling.. it's almost 12pm and i haven't had my breakfast. don't really feel like having cereals for breakfast but there's not much options cos we've not gone for groceries shopping yet.

i. am. missing. my. favourite. fishball. noodles. =/

Thursday, February 26, 2009

catching the tails of my last long vacation~

holiday has come to an end. overall, it's been a good vacation.

here's a list of things that i've accomplished!

1) Joined my first Chingay parade.
2) Travelled to melbourne, gold coast and canberra
3) Spent CNY '09 with my family and friends
4) Handled a class of 30 ten-year-old monkeys
5) Watched 8 movies - australia, bedtime stories, red cliff 2, Ip man, valkyrie, the curious story of benjamin buttons, he's just not that into you & slumdog millionaire. (especially enjoyed benjamin buttons. must admit brad pitt's acting was better than i expected.. and i absolutely lOve <3 the endinG! )

sigh. feeling rather pensive right now about going back.. how i wish holidays don't end..

perhaps i should try to increase my serotonin levels.. so that i can somehow increase my positivity. or maybe it is just another excuse for me to have chocolates without feeling guilty.

hm no time for pensive thoughts.

got to get back to packing!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

things that i know are (/not) meant to be

Some thiNgs are meant not to be spoken
no words are needed
stark silence says it all

Some thiNgs despite all the words
remains but an abstract
defined by our own interpretation

Some thiNgs are meant to be
no man can take away
no man can change

SOla fide, by faith
iT will unfold
like a blossoming flower

Sola gratia, by grace
iT will be moulded
like clay in a potter's hands

some things are surely meant to be
though unseen, but by faith and grace,
iT will come in God's timing.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Life's like a sinosoidal curve

"I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world."

Louis Armstrong - What a wonderful world.


What beautiful lyrics. It caught my breath the first instance i heard them. Such soulful words.

I've been feeling emo lately. It feels like i'm travelling on a sinusoidal curve, finding myself sliding down the peak of the curve. uncontrollable. until i hit the bottom of it.

And I ask myself, "why?"

I've come to realise that there is a great amount of pathy in me towards another person's problems. It might be a good thing to naturally be able to feel for someone else, but it is unbearable when you find yourself powerless to help them. Especially when they are people who means a great deal to you.

I wonder if i could stop being so easily affected by people i care about..

:(

Thursday, February 5, 2009

i want to be the next jamie oliver!~ (maybe when i retire =P)

Menu: Creamy Spaghetti with Scallop & Asparagus~







My first attempt!









My second attempt!






THe first and second picture looks similar because i used the same utensils, background and almoST the same ingredients. The difference is that i omitted ham + huge mushroom from the first attempt cos i felt that the whole dish tasted both meaty and seafoody..too heavy on the tastebuds. SO, i used plainly the seafood with asparagus, carrots and chopped mushrooms on e second try..

Also, i pan-seared the scallops and dory fish coated with sesame seeds. (THis i learnt from "surreal gourmet") It is a really simple way of cooking white meat and tasted really good. The fragrant of the sesame seeds complemented well with the seafood, me thinks. oh! and i added some chopped chilli into the cream for a slightly spicy-tangy aftertaste. :)

Anyway, had a really great time cooking today! :) finished the cooking and cleaning under an hour. hooray! wat's more, daddy even had a 2nd serving. :D

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

choked with emotions

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

I heard a friend speak of the nearing death of her mother today. Oddly, the topic seemed so far for me. I tried my very best to console and comfort her, but i knew i could never provide her all the support which she desperately needs now.. because i am not in her shoes.

I began suggesting ways for her to deal with this situation. "stay optimistic", "spend more time with her", "maybe set up a blog" etc.. But these words seemed lacking. I simply wished i was there, to give her a big hug to occupy the gaps that my words cannot fill.

Then, i remembered a woman with cancer who appeared on The Straits Times home section last week. I remember a woman who has this really big smile, with sparkle in her eyes. Even though it's a gray scale picture, it seems to shout out energy and life at every corner.

The woman in the picture was a victim of breast cancer. But she was not one of the ordinary cancer patients. Apparently, throughout her cancer fighting days, she and her husband started up a blog. Initially serving as a means to update their family and friends of her condition, it eventually became a source of inspiration and encouragement for many - both healthy and non-healthy.

I was utterly choked with emotions when i read her blog (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) this afternoon. The eulogy written by her husband, the memorial video of her, pictures of her family and stories of her daily fight with cancer. Her strong passion for life is just so infectious. In fact, i believe, she has managed to inspire and touch the life of many others. Her fight for cancer was never really her own.. in fact, her blog managed to garner like-minded souls for charitable works.

Self-reflection on my own life started minutes after i finished with her blog.

How am I leading my life right now?
Am I living my life to the fullest each day?
Do I express my love for my family and friends enough each day?

Each of these questions flashed through my mind. I believe I am working towards living my life to the fullest each day. There are many things that I want to do and have yet to do. I love my family and friends very much, and I am still learning to express my love for them.

At the end of the day, as the woman who have lived her life so brightly rightly puts it:

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Happy牛Year!

Chinese new year is all about keeping traditions. Having reunion dinner with the whole family, receiving angbaos, special new year greetings to the elderly are all part of our chinese practices for this festive occasion. To me, it is a much-valued day where everyone takes time off their busy lives, to spend well-deserved quality time with their family.

I often wonder if these traditions will be kept for the next few generations. With the demise of my maternal grandparents (few years ago), many of my relatives from that side of the family stopped keeping in touch with one another. which is kind of sad. Comparatively, my paternal grandparents are still around, and the ties of the family members on our paternal side are much closer. I reasoned this is because my grandparents are the gel that holds the family together.

Anyway, this year's celebration has been awesome! haha. Perhaps even better than previous years of chinese new year celebrations. I guess this is because I've been away, and being away from your family makes you miss your family and somehow makes you realise how much they mean to you.

Simply put, there's nowhere better than home. :)


my family <3

Friday, January 16, 2009

wide-eye gaze


have you ever gazed upon the horizon and notice the passing of clouds?

have you ever stay put in one spot and notice the passing crowds?

For the past 3 weeks back home, I've felt more serenity and peace than I've ever had before. More often than not, a simple sight makes me smile. Be it a cherubic child on a pram, a pretty flower blossoming at its fullest, or an old couple walking down the gravel pavement holding hands, it never fails to bring a crescent to my cheeks.

I've been thinking, what have these past few weeks mean to me? indeed, i felt a temporary high from all the wonderful reunions that occurred in the first 2 weeks. and most definitely, savoured the most delicious cuisine - singapore street food (glutonny me :S). Now, i am living each day with absolutely laid-backness. Simply letting each day go past unhurried, and undemanding. What an absolute contrast from the workaholic me just over a year ago! Call it the OZ influence. :p

Just a few days ago, i was having one of my regular jogs in the precinct of punggol park when the view of the lake caught my eye. Shimmering sunlight glistened on the surface of the waterbody, bringing my eyes to a squint. Along the borders of the lake were cat-tails, long and willowy, swaying gracefully with the breeze. I can't help but stop to think, how beautiful.

Not doubt many of us find singapore a stressful and hectic place, but that doesn't mean that one cannot find peace in this metropolitan city. It is important that amidst our busy moments, take a minute or two to pause, and smell the roses.

You will be surprise at what greets you ahead. The sights, the smell, the sound, and aha, the taste! Take it all in. This is afterall, our home. :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Spur of the moment

I've entered an entry in reader's digest, asia! haha. out of a spur of the moment.

It's a conversation that really took place, between my mum and my cousin hazel. haha. But I improvised the role of my mum into a granny for more humour. well, if my entry does get in, I'll be richer by 100 dollars. *fingers crossed
Here's my maiden entry!

One day, I was talking on the phone to my seven-year-old granddaughter, Hazel. Being a chatterbox, she began telling me about her day in school in every detail. That's when i asked her, "Do you remember what day is today?"

"I don't remember", she replied.

"Today's Monday, how can you be so forgetful, darling", I teased.

And she said, "I'm getting old, grandma".


:)