choked with emotions

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."

I heard a friend speak of the nearing death of her mother today. Oddly, the topic seemed so far for me. I tried my very best to console and comfort her, but i knew i could never provide her all the support which she desperately needs now.. because i am not in her shoes.

I began suggesting ways for her to deal with this situation. "stay optimistic", "spend more time with her", "maybe set up a blog" etc.. But these words seemed lacking. I simply wished i was there, to give her a big hug to occupy the gaps that my words cannot fill.

Then, i remembered a woman with cancer who appeared on The Straits Times home section last week. I remember a woman who has this really big smile, with sparkle in her eyes. Even though it's a gray scale picture, it seems to shout out energy and life at every corner.

The woman in the picture was a victim of breast cancer. But she was not one of the ordinary cancer patients. Apparently, throughout her cancer fighting days, she and her husband started up a blog. Initially serving as a means to update their family and friends of her condition, it eventually became a source of inspiration and encouragement for many - both healthy and non-healthy.

I was utterly choked with emotions when i read her blog (http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/) this afternoon. The eulogy written by her husband, the memorial video of her, pictures of her family and stories of her daily fight with cancer. Her strong passion for life is just so infectious. In fact, i believe, she has managed to inspire and touch the life of many others. Her fight for cancer was never really her own.. in fact, her blog managed to garner like-minded souls for charitable works.

Self-reflection on my own life started minutes after i finished with her blog.

How am I leading my life right now?
Am I living my life to the fullest each day?
Do I express my love for my family and friends enough each day?

Each of these questions flashed through my mind. I believe I am working towards living my life to the fullest each day. There are many things that I want to do and have yet to do. I love my family and friends very much, and I am still learning to express my love for them.

At the end of the day, as the woman who have lived her life so brightly rightly puts it:

"It is not the years in our life that counts, but the life in our years."